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Competition is Not Always Healthy

by: LynnThomas
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Being in a relationship is difficult enough as it is. The last thing anyone wants is to find themselves in a competition with their mate. If your lover finds himself feeling like a rival, your relationship is in big trouble. If you can detect the problem when it begins, you can avoid suffering irreversible damage to your relationship.

This can be a real problem in relationships between people who are both ambitious and competitive. By the time you notice it, it may have already driven a wedge between you and him. Rori Raye describes "boy energy" as that aggressive approach that women use to achieve great things. This 'boy energy' can completely wreck your relationship. It is important to avoid letting this happen by paying attention to the warning signs.

It should be easy to tell if this is a problem for you. He may suddenly shy away from competitive activities, like board games or exercise. If he declines your invitations to participate in competitive activities consistently, you can be sure that there is trouble in paradise.

It doesn't take much to step on his toes, really. If you interrupt his stories with anecdotes of your own, he is going to feel as though you are putting yourself before him, and publicly humiliating him as well. Making jokes at his expense will have the same effect.

The reason why this is so destructive to an otherwise healthy relationship is that the role you play in his life should be one of love, respect, and acceptance. When he feels that these things are threatened, he begins to doubt the stability of your relationship, and his confidence is challenged. These seeds of doubt can make a relationship unravel.

You should begin to focus on solutions as soon as you recognize this as a problem. Instead of asking what his problem is, you need to ask what your problem is. The need to take away the glory from your partner and claim it as your own is actually an indication of insecurity. Only when you have reconciled this issue with yourself will you be willing and able to give freely the praise and respect that he needs from you.

You can turn things around before they become critical if you just take the time to notice this problem as soon as it begins. As long as you take the time to consider what it would feel like to be in his shoes, you will be able to understand why this is a problem. No one likes to be one-upped, especially by their mate! Next time a competitive situation arises, be encouraging and supportive. Be generous and kind rather than selfish and self-serving. By making his victories your own, your relationship will thrive by being mutually supportive and loving.

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Competition is Not Always Healthy

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